As with all mornings, I awoke with good intentions to master my moment. As with most mornings, this threw me into an immediate quandary of which worthy intention got addressed and/or accomplished first.
This morning my agenda was to rise, meditate for 15 minutes, get my daughter up to go walking with me, work on this blog post, then shower and head to work. Tucked in with these pillars of activity were dodging the potential of waking up the dogs and/or my mother, either or both of which had the potential to derail my above agenda. Even as I type this, I am aware that no one is attending to the dogs downstairs who are now awake and in full on bark mode. Be right back.
My delusion. Since I fell back asleep after my earlier epiphany (and a nearly realized agenda), all parties are now awake and my adult grandson Ryan is wrangling both the dogs and my mother to the usual sound of Nancy Grace at FULL volume. I am now 15 minutes and counting from being sufficiently dressed and groomed for work. Keep meaning to shower at night. So far, no good. I showered yesterday so today will have to be a two-fer.
Sleep deprivation and hypervigilant thoughts vs. letting go and breathing, being at one with the Cosmos. It’s a nightly struggle I hope to neutralize or at least modulate downward sometime in my life span. Meanwhile, I’ll let my determination and quasi-focused attention span during waking hours keep me moving forward. It’s not easy mastering me but it’s my assignment and my mission. And my never ending wish.
Believe, Kristi, believe.