OMG! I went in yesterday thinking I might be getting fired. This has been an ongoing mindset for me since I got this job last March.
It’s not that I’m bad at what I do, it’s just that my performance level is not as perfect as it was once upon a time. This creates a certain level of ongoing workplace PTSD for me. That, added to the fact that this is the first full-time job I’ve had in three years – and frankly, that I’m working again at all ANYWHERE is mind-boggling in itself – has made me feel very tentatively employed pretty much any workday of my week.
So, I went in yesterday with my usual “coin toss” mindset as I swiped my badge over the security pad and entered the building. I made my way to my locker, got my headphones and reference sheets from the additional training I just successfully completed a week ago, plugged into my work station and logged on ready to assist our members’ call ins. Breathe, Kristi, breathe. Maybe they’ll do it later when they talk about you pushing the envelope on your tardy limit.
Envelopes. I see a pink one to the left of my work station. It’s got my name on it. Hmm. I open it. I read it. It’s my work coach giving me kudos all over the place for the great job I’m doing and how she’s proud of me for the job I’m doing and for passing the training. Wow! The card AND a workplace pin that officially makes me part of the gang.
Either I really am still that good – or these people are REALLY twisted in their firing practices!
Just count me swipin’ and breathin’ easier – for now.