Go figure! No, I have not slam dunked the reposting of my revised revision of my previously revised book of “Great Falls, Virginia!” as promised – yet.
As is typical in my life, the minute I lock down a definite time and/or date for getting something done, the Universe makes other plans for me. Hate it.
So, rather than say it’ll be later today, I’m just gonna say I’m moving closer to my goal and that the software I thought was still loaded on my computer actually now IS on my computer.
However, even as I type, I am feeling the pull of our dogs dancing toward the downstairs back door that my grandson has not yet awakened to open. And my mother most likely has gotten herself out of bed and dressed even though she’s supposed to wait for assistance. If I go downstairs myself, I won’t be back for awhile even to finish this post, much less successfully relaunch the book. Ah, my daughter has come to the rescue!
One quick thought that’s come to me in reviewing the content of my book. It’s about the 70’s written in the 90’s along with an epilogue added in 2009 and updated recently. That’s quite an arch of time for one book. My point being that it’s given me a revised perspective on unsettled issues over events that can’t be undone.
We all move forward from the adverse effects of others’ behaviors and choices. Just like they do the same from ours. It’s come home to roost in reviewing some of my life’s events that, as much as I had felt overly victimized at times, ultimately there were sometimes events and behavior choices on my part which, while not intended to hurt or cause adverse behavior in others, still did.
What I’m about to say isn’t just because of not fully recognizing this before, but in wanting to call attention to the fact that when we’re more in the moment, we’re not busy anticipating the insensitivity or adversity of others’ behaviors. We can then be more open to our own moments and how we react within them.
That’s why forgiveness isn’t just about those that err against us, it’s about recognizing that we’re in need of forgiveness as well for our own choices and their unintended consequences.
What has also been highlighted for me is that when we don’t forgive ourselves or others, we carry the emotional leftovers within us. That level of angst is what accompanies us into all our new relationships and new situations which can quickly become same-o if we don’t let go of them.
Even those who do intentionally inflict emotional harm or worse may be doing so because the last thing they’re expecting from others is forgiveness. They’re conditioned for – and expect – being hated. If you’re that kind of person, why would you think there was ever a chance to go back and undo what’s been done, or to be redeemed from who you’ve become? Or that anyone cares you may have regrets or would stop but what’s the point?
I have an upcoming post I’ve already written. It’s a little too heavy for the holiday but addresses this topic more full on. Ultimately, if we can’t forgive one another and do better by one another, if there’s no spiritual or ethical “tag back” that we allow each other, then where’s the hope for humanity?
Not advocating that we stand in traffic and allow ourselves to be emotional road kill or worse. What I am advocating is that we be more objective about looking at our own actions and behaviors, and what they attract to us. Also, to recognize that when someone is used to acting out in certain ways, it’s not necessarily personal when they choose you as their target.
Ultimately, their mindset is a moot point because it’s the fallout of their mindset that has to be dealt with. And – just asking that we consider this – if we can be less about judgment and more about letting go of the fallout, we’ll be giving ourselves and each other a climate of grace in which to live and restore each other. Tearing down and attacking one another is no way to live nor is it an example – even as social entertainment – to aspire to.
Let’s be about grace, forgiveness and oneness because we all need to feel these things. And, whether or not we think so, we’re all just one choice away from being on the wrong side of that space.
Merry Christmas, everyone! Please keep it kind. Reminder to self as well.